As parents we dedicate our hearts and souls to raise our children, which leaves very little room to connect with our partner.
Susana Camacho
My husband and I have been married for 9 years and counting. Overall our marriage has been filled with love and joy and a few sour patches in between. What marriage is perfect anyway? But we will leave that for another topic.
As our family grew we pride ourselves with being amazing parents. We wanted to be parents that are present and involved in our children’s lives. Our souls were pretty much sold to our children.
We were extremely connected as a family, as parents. A great team.
Everything we did also involved the children. Grocery shopping? “Kids get ready we are going grocery shopping!” Valentine’s Day? Anniversary? “They are part of our love story, table for 5 please.”
Social gatherings didn’t exist unless children were welcomed and the gathering ended before 9pm.
Before we knew it my husband and I had grown apart and disconnected. But how could that be if we work so well together to raise three amazing children?
One day we sat and we talked. (Communication has been a strong trait in our relationship). In our conversation we learned that all of our love and energy was solely put towards raising our children. We had unknowingly neglected our relationship.
We no longer felt connected and couldn’t remember the last time we had a date alone. We loved each other but felt the need to fall in love with each other again.
Here are 4 ways to stay connected with your partner, when you have children:
- Physical affection
- Alone time
- Learn each other Love Language
- Listens and communicate
1. Physical affection can be given throughout the day as a sign of acknowledging one another. It lets your partner know you see them and acknowledge their presence without speaking.
The next time you go out to the park with your family, hold hands. Rub your partner’s back when they are cooking. Greet them with a hug or kiss when they get home from home.
2. Alone time away from little humans. For starters plan a date once a month. Try a new restaurant, go wine tasting or take a walk on the beach. Learn to enjoy each others company and get to know each other again.
3. Learn each others love language. If you have not yet read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend you do. This book will give you an understanding on how you show love and how you like love be show to you.
Maybe you are a gift giver but your partner appreciates words of affirmation. Or your partner shows their love by acts of service but you prefer physical touch.
4. Listen and communicate with each other. Listen to your partners needs and communicate yours.
One way to do this is by writing them down, take turns reading them out loud and discuss them in a calm respectful way.
If you feel that your partner and you are on the same boat as we were 4 years ago, try these 4 ways to stay connected with your partner. Or seek professional help before calling it quits. We are living proof that it is possible to stay connected with your partner while raising children.
Please let me know if you found this helpful by commenting or liking this post. Your feedback is appreciated, Thank you!
Susana Camacho 